Hidup bermakna

Tiba-tiba aku rasa hidup ini tiada makna. Aku mengimbas perjalanan hidup ku. Apa yang telah aku buat? Aku bekerja. Memang aku pandai bekerja. Aku dapat anugerah kecemerlangan. Aku mempunyai ijazah tertinggi. Tetapi aku berfikir sendiri. Lalu untuk apa itu semua? Aku risau. Aku risau nanti bila aku ditanya di akhirat nanti, apa yang telah aku sumbangkan dengan ilmu yang aku dapat? Apa yang telah aku buat dengan ijazah tertinggi ku itu? Apakah ia telah dimanfaatkan oleh orang lain? Apa kah ia ilmu yang berguna? Aku menjadi cukup sedih dan tidak bersemangat. Bagi ku aku telah mensia-siakan 50 tahun hidup ku di bumi Allah ini. Aku perlu lakukan sesuatu. Aku perlu berkhidmat untuk Allah sebelum aku terlambat.

Lost

We were looking in the wrong places
We were reading the wrong books
We looked at life with the wrong perspectives
Why were we so stupid?
Why did we not see?
That Allah has told us all
All the do's and the don'ts
The reasons for us being here
The journey that we are suppose to take
Our final destination
Yes...Allah has told us all
It is all there in black and white
It is all there in the glorious Quran
Yet we disobey
We choose to forget them
We are living a life of denial
By our words
By our actions
And so here we are
Lost.

Depression

A chance remark set my mind into a spin. It got me thinking and now I am stuck. I am looking back into my life. Suddenly all of these questions came rushing into my head. What have I done? Why did I do the things that I did? What was my motivations and intentions at the time? Was it noble or was it plain greed? I suppose I had succumb to temptations. I gave in when I should have resisted. I had been unfaithful to my principles. I had taken a short cut. I had lost my self respect. And that is why I am depressed.