Friday, December 25, 2009


We were looking in the wrong places
We were reading the wrong books
We looked at life with the wrong perspectives
Why were we so stupid?
Why did we not see?
That Allah has told us all
All the do's and the don'ts
The reasons for us being here
The journey that we are suppose to take
Our final destination
Yes...Allah has told us all
It is all there in black and white
It is all there in the glorious Quran
Yet we disobey
We choose to forget them
We are living a life of denial
By our words
By our actions
And so here we are

Saturday, August 8, 2009


A chance remark set my mind into a spin. It got me thinking and now I am stuck. I am looking back into my life. Suddenly all of these questions came rushing into my head. What have I done? Why did I do the things that I did? What was my motivations and intentions at the time? Was it noble or was it plain greed? I suppose I had succumb to temptations. I gave in when I should have resisted. I had been unfaithful to my principles. I had taken a short cut. I had lost my self respect. And that is why I am depressed.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Finally Free

You are one of many
You are someone looking for freedom
You are someone hungry for respect
You are someone searching for love
You are someone in need of attention

You are totally unaware
You are utterly lost
You are in despair
You are doomed

Until you realize...and proclaims that
Everything that you do
Your living
Your prayers
Your sacrifices
Your death
are all for Allah
Then and only will find that

His is all the love you need
His is all the attention you seek
His is all the respect you crave
In submitting to His will
Nothing else matters

Then and only then
You will be
Finally free

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I thought I know myself. It turns out that I do not understand myself at all. I thought that I know the people around me. But then could I know them when I barely know myself. I find myself liking and not liking somebody. I realised that it is not my place to like and not like someone. Who am I to do that? Am I that good such that I can pass out judgements on anyone that cross my path? I must realise that people are just people. They come in all shapes and sizes. They have different values and beliefs. I cannot say they are right or wrong. I am not God. I must teach myself to accept them as they are. People are not good or bad, kind or evil...they are just people.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Purpose of Life

A person at work recently asked me a question. She asked me how do I remain calm and unfazed by the fact that most of my peers have moved up the ladder while I am still down here going round in circles and achieving nothing (well, those are not her exact words but you know what I mean :-)). At first I do not know whether to view the question as an insult (reinforced by the fact that she profusely apologized prior to asking me the question) or a compliment! My normal response would have been a sarcastic remark. However, on that day, I held my tongue and left her with a smile and a shrug.

The question, however did not leave me. It got stuck inside my head and it got me thinking. And thinking lead to more questions. Is it wrong to be satisfied with what we have and not want more? Is life really about having the "correct" titles in front of your name? Is life really about climbing that elusive 'corporate' ladder?The answers can be found if we sit down quietly and reflect. We have to reflect and ask ourselves the reason for our being here on earth. For us muslims the answers lie in examining the whole purpose of us being here. What is our purpose in life? What are Allah's grand designs for us? What are our core business as muslims? What are our performance indicators as muslims? Steven Covey coined something that is called 'principle centred living' ( as opposed to self centred, money centred, spouse centerd, work centred etc.) For us muslims we can identify it as maybe Islam centred living, I don't know.

So, back to the questions above. What are the answers? Well it depends, for me all the titles, promotions, money, fame and fortune should be the means in realizing that life's purpose. In other words there is nothing wrong with the promotions or titles or what nots per se, so long as they are viewed as tools in realizing you life's purpose ( the correct Islam centred one). However, what ails the society now, is that these so called "success milestones" have themselves become the purpose of life for some.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The anticipation of love

When all is said and done
all that remains are memories
of pain and suffering
of joy and happiness
of sorrow and heartache
of kindness and gratitude
of regrets and sadness
of smiles and laughter
When all is said and done
all we have is
the anticipation of love

Saturday, February 14, 2009


What success is not:
It is not about titles, accolades and adulations. It is not about making more and more money. It is not about having a new bungalow with expensive furniture. It is not about driving that new sparkling BMW. It is not about showing off the new Gucci handbag. It is not about dining at the best restaurants. It is not about jet setting to far away locations for holidays.
What success is:
It is about peace and serenity. It is about empathy. It is about caring. It is about simplicity. It is about creativity. It is about nurturing. It is about helping. It is about family. It is about faith. It is about taqwa. It is about service for others above self. It is about smelling the roses and of is about watching the rain falling down.

Serama chicks

Two little chicks, the latest additions to our growing group of serama chickens. They are my husband's pride and joy. He has this dream that one of these days he will breed a champion serama chick that will bring him fame and fortune. In the meantime, we all have to bear with the trials and tribulations of rearing chickens in our small backyard.

Friday, January 30, 2009


It did not come out as it was supposed to be. A lot of pent up anger and frustration took the better of me. I was reactive. I did not respond well to the stimulus. Or rather, was that the right response to the stimulus? I guess I will never know. I did feel bad for a while. Then the bad feeling turned into melancholy and finally into a horrible hollow feeling at the pit of my stomach. Well, that was a few hours ago. Now I am sort of feelingless. And that is bad. I heard somewhere that it is better to feel anger than to feel nothing at all. To be indifferent is to be neither here nor there. It means that I have stopped caring. It means that I have stopped living.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

a mother's wish

It is now almost the end of the first month of the new year. Time seems to fly so fast. Shukri is now in Form 1 and Sakinah will be sitting for her UPSR. Seems like it was only yesterday that they were babies all cute and cuddly. Looking back I wish that I am blessed with many more children, but I suppose I can't complain because afterall there are others out there who has none. Looking at them grow so fast I can't help feeling a bit apprehensive of what the future holds for them. The world is not as friendly as it used to be. The world now is about money and titles and more money and more titles. There is almost no room for good people doing good things. Honesty and integrity are words that people say not things that people have. I hope that my children will be safe. I hope that God keeps them on the straight and narrow. I hope that God gives them guidance and grace.

Monday, January 19, 2009


This yearning in my heart
This feeling of emptiness
Saddens me so
There is this void
Not yet filled
I looked for signs
I searched for directions
Yet, there are no clues
No guiding light
Like a ship lost in the night
I'm neither here nor there
I'm not yet whole
Not yet finished
Not yet me


I'm beginning to like my cocoon. It is beginning to take shape nicely. The light has got to be fixed though. Although it is a bit small, it does give me the solitude that I need. It has become my hiding place, away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Funny how a simple arrangement can bring some sense of security to me. I finally have a space to call my own. It is like a life long quest realized. I sit here and I feel focused. Everything falls into place and now I feel that I can get something done. I don't know how or what exactly, but here I discover me.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

too much

trying too hard
wanting too much
believing in so little
faith in none
too scared to sit down
too tired to stand up
too big a cake
too small a plate
going round in circles
leading nowhere
It is all too much
too soon