Aidil Fitri 2010

Rasa sekejap saja masa berlalu. Sebulan berpuasa rasa macam seminggu. Masih belum puas aku merasakan nikmat Ramadan. Tahun ini Raya tidak semeriah biasa. Maklumlah Bak masih lagi terkesan dengan stroke yang dialami. Dia tidak lagi endahkan kemeriahan Raya. Tahun ini Bak tidak lagi sibuk untuk memberi duit raya kepada cucu-cucunya. Dia seolah berada dalam dunianya sendiri. Aidil Fitri tahun ini merupakan titik permulaan kepada usaha Ma untuk kembali kepada hidupnya yang normal. Dia bertekad untuk tinggal berdua dengan Bak di Terengganu. Dia kata dia tidak mahu tinggal bersama anak-anak. Dia hendak berdikari semula. Aku faham kehendak Ma. Dia wanita merdeka. Dia tidak bisa dibelenggu hatta oleh anak-anak sendiri. Ma memberitahu ku yang kini dia sudah berani. Mungkin sekarang dia telah menemui kekuatannya semula. Aku harap begitu. Kini setiap hari aku menelefonnya untuk bertanya khabar dan juga unutk menenangkan diriku. Sebenarnya aku risau akan keselamatannya. Tapi aku tidak mampu untuk memaksa Ma untuk tinggal dengan kami, anak-anaknya.

Bak is ill

Our family was hit by a crisis. Bak had suffered a mild stoke that had left him unable to walk freely. He is now a shadow of his former self. Bak was an independent 85 yr old man. He was full of energy and as tough as nails. He was an avid reader and always had opinions about things especially political things. I bet the current political situation in Malaysia will not be spared had Bak not got his stroke when he did. Alas, now Bak just sits there in his favourite chair and looked forlorn and sad. I wondered, sometimes what his thoughts are. Asking him will not reveal any answers though. Doctors discovered that Bak was hit by multiple strokes before. They had gone unnoticed by us. Maybe the impact was more subtle as compared to the latest one that hit him on the 23rd of March. This time it affected the cerebelum which was responsible for balance and coordination, hence his difficulty in walking. Walking, however is not the main disturbing problem that had plagued Bak. The stroke had also robbed Bak of his appetite and motivation. He had refused food, especially rice. He seemed to have lost hope. He would only take eggs, bananas and his favourite drink, Milo. Thank Allah that at least there are still some things that he likes. It has been a month since the stroke. Bak's progress is very slow. It is not surprising considering the fact that he refuses to eat and also his age. Every meal time is tense. Bak would close his mouth whenever my mum tried to feed him porridge. All this had created a lot of stress for my mum. She is finding it very difficult to look at the whole situation objectively. She is at her wits ends so much so that she too had given up on Bak's prospects of getting better.
In times of crisis people come together. They find hope in each other's presence. Let's hope that Allah will grant my family the strength to withstand this crisis and learn the hikmah from it.